So, I decide to register with one of the better known photographic societies. I profile myself as a female photographer based in Leicester, specialising in Weddings and Portrait Photography.
 Within days I'm bombarded with sales calls and emails, which is cool - we've all got to make a living.
What I didn't expect was a text out of the blue asking if I am Julia Langridge. Slightly suspicious I reply 'Yes, how can I help you?', to which I get 'I was wandrin if u do fotografy and ow much do ya charge?'.
Well quite clearly theyv'e got my details from this 'Society' as it's the only place I have registered my details, so I would have thought this quite obvious, but I politely reply outlining my services and how much I charge.
 'I do nude cleaning and I wud like sum pics dun' comes the reply!
I should have known from the start this would spell grief. I spent the next few days exchanging relatively polite text messages clearly outlining what I was and wasn't prepared to do, only to be questioned on things such as'do u av a thong i cud borro?', and 'I cud do an hour free for u'.
I soon made it clear that no booking would take place without the sitting fee being paid by Paypal, hoping that this would sort out whether this was a genuine request for some studio work or just a crank wasting my time.
All the while I'm conscious not to be rude or offensive, as as i stated previously 'everyone's got to make a living', but by now it was getting tedious.
The final straw came when he texts me and asks 'Cud u cum to me instead, it wud be more comfi'. At this point he gets a firm 'GO AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE!'
So - lesson learned?! Never work with children, animals or nudists, ah but hang on, I'm a portrait photographer! Ah - just never work with nudists then!